Clothing that invites CMNM situations

 Some types of clothing and certain social situations seem to invite CMNM (clothed male / naked male) and probably just as often CFNM (clothed female / naked male) behavior. It's not too surprising that one of those types of clothing is the kilt. Still, there are several other kinds of male attire that sometimes offer the opportunity for spontaneous partially nudity, at time under the guise of freeballiing, such include boardshorts, ethnic or traditional clothing (the 'kilt' is a Western invention for covering male anatomy), but there are other forms of masculine clothes from Asian, the Middle East, Africa, and Oceania that perform similar functions and which offer similar glimpses. 

Here are some recent photos from social events where guys were wearing kilts. 
   It always seems that whenever some guy is wearing a kilt -- whether formal or informal, he seems to get a lot of attention directed toward what's under the kilt. By the way, it appears that his male buddies are just as fascinated by what he's wearing and what he's not as his women friends are.
Cross-cultural Perspective on Freeballing 
I wonder how many other national costumes or traditional clothes allow for freeballing? I've spent a lot of time in Japan and a few other countries where the national costume -- kimono or yukata (light summer informal kimono with fundoshi (loin cloth)) (at least it remains one of the traditional ways that some people dress --especialy for festivals or typical Japanese cultural events) does make freeballing sort of accepted. As I said in an earlier post (Scottish singer in a kilt), I wonder how many national / native or traditional costumes make it easy (or not) to freeball and perhaps to catch a glimpse. We've seen that many guys wearing kilts do not have anything on underneath. I have lived at times in Japan and still have strong connections to it. I find the kimono and in particular the yukata give a great opportunity to freeball. The traditional kimono, which is really as formal nowadays as a tuxedo and not worn very often at all, does not work out very well for freeballing -- mainly because it is worn for ceremonial events and people are not likely to move around much. The kimono is also worn tightly bound and can have several undergarments and belts (obi) so that it is not likely to come open. Damn, it must even be difficult to take a leak or squat to use the bathroom. However, the yukata is quite a bit different. It is a casual summer kimono-like one piece outfit -- typically worn for festivals and as night wear / indoor wear at hotsprings resorts and fine hotels. Traditionally, Japanese men (and there are some people who do still) wear the yukata and its shorter version (the happi coat) as casual wear -- although mostly it is only during the summer and fall festivals, but a few for daily wear especially during the hot humid summer season. Under the yukata -- and sometimes ONLY without even the yukata-- is worn the traditional Japanese loincloth called the "fundoshi." It is not exactly underwear because it can be worn as swimwear or beach wear, as festival gear, and as an undergarment for a yukata (or kimono). Normally, only men wear a fundoshi, but some guys think it is very sexy for women to wear them .. so you sometimes see women in porno wearing a fundoshi. Fundoshi is not really about freeballing -- it is a wrap that curls up from behind and under and can even tightly bind your balls, but it certainly does not leave much to the imagination once in place. There are a couple of styles - -the one for festivals is often twisted into a knotty rope like a thong and rides up the crack of your ass. Other style leave a hanging cover of the front so it's a bit hard to see the guy's encased mound of cock and balls, but this flying droop moves and floats around so you do get a view sometimes. I'm not Japanese and don't have much chance to wear a yukata or fundoshi, but I have an acquaintance in Japan who has been after me to try them. He is a Buddhist priest who is about 35, married with two small children. The place I stay is just next door to the temple so he invariably invites me over when he knows I am in Japan. Perhaps he is just trying to be nice by introducing me to traditional Japanese culture -- Japanese are not very big on evangelical Buddhism (although I hear it does exist). On a recent trip to Tokyo, he insisted on measuring me for a yukata and told me he would have onr made for me and then show me how to wear it and we would go to a fireworks festival wearing a yukata. While he was measuring me, he got down on his knees in front of me (apparently in total innocence) but it sure made me wonder. He first had me pull off my trousers and then he measured about my waist and hips while I standing there in a bare of almost mesh semi see-thru boxers. I had to pull my t-shirt down over the front to conceal what could have been a eyeful of my semi-freeballing. The next day he came running up to me again and wanted to measure me again -- he thought he might have made a mistake so it surely did get me to questioning his motives. For now, I will assume he has only my "cross-cultural" education at heart and nothing else. I do have to say that it will be interesting if he wants to teach me how to wear a fundoshi next! There are a few different types of 'fundoshi' style (Japanese loincloths). I guess you might say they are more like "freebutting" instead of freeballing, but what the hell, I think they look pretty cool. This photo above shows a guy's full body tatoo (irezumi) -- still quite popular with a certain segment of the Japanese -- it was strongly associated with gangsters (yakuza) but less so nowadays. Notice the twisted rope effect in the crack of his fundoshi -- wonder what that feels like -- maybe it helps keeps his semi-hard so that the spectators can enjoy the festival "show" even more. You can see different lengths of "happi" coats in this pic-- so the fundoshi is not really meant to be covered up -- although it can serve as underwear -- it is more like a 400 year old Japanese Speedo bikini or gym shorts.

'Mardi Gras' exposure - not the real thing - but hot, anyway.

 

This is not to 'rain on anybody's parade'. But if you head off looking for these sights at the real Mardi Gras, you might be disappointed - although you could probably head to the Latin Quarter and see scenes like these during that time (and also at other times of year).

The scenes in the 'mardi gras exposure' were not likely taken during Mardi Gras - at least, they are not really part of the Mardi Gras festivities. Although it's all in good fun, the drunken antics are not part of the annual Mardi Gras festivities (in New Orleans), which are based on a religious observance, of course. In reality, the real Mardi Gras does not take place on Bourbon Street. So it is rather a widespread myth. However, despite the 'myth', it can certainly be fun to be a part of the after-parade events that happen on Bourbon Street. Fortunately for those of us who enjoy seeing them, the cock flashing and drunken antics can occur at many other times of year. 

Formerly, Southern Decadence, billed as the Gay 'Mardi Gras', and held at Labor Day (first weekend in Sept) was truly an unbelievably wild street event. To many outside the New Orleans area, the term 'Mardi Gras' has become synonymous with the flagrant street flashing breast by women and cock & balls (or butts) by men who are drunk and roaming Bourbon Street in the French Quarter after the Mardi Gras parades have finished elsewhere across the city, seeking to be rewarded with a string of shiny beads for exposing their privates or genitals. 

Although fun and wild, and as such, it allows both the bead-giver and all of the casual bystanders too, a glimpse (or even more) of cute guys' dicks or their half-naked bodies (lower half - as they let their jeans and boxers drop), it is not really what Mardi Gras is. However, the myth persists. It's more likely to be an impromptu street party that spontaneously occurs during Spring Break or other holiday weekends in the old Quartier in downtown New Orleans. Tens of thousands of party-seeking college-age young people descend on the French Quarter on New Orleans during Spring Break, and "boys gone wild' is the name of the game.

 "In part due to the way the news media has focused on the activities of those who "visit" and go the French Quarter "after" the parades, it now appears that all many think about when they hear the words "Mardi Gras"are activities occurring in the French Quarter; i.e., flashing women (tourists who are drunk or need attention) and crowd surges (a spring break crowd trying to catch a glimpse)! This is not Mardi Gras. It has absolutely nothing to do with the "real" Mardi Gras celebration. Unfortunately, sex makes more news .. so every news camera visiting our beautiful city for Mardi Gras heads for the spring break crowd on Bourbon Street ... and does not give adequate coverage to those who spend thousands of dollars and months of time planning "The Greatest Free Show on Earth!" It is our hope that visitors who have seen Internet sites by tourists to New Orleans showcasing these tourists realize that they are only seeing 1/10 of 1% of what happens during the entire Mardi Gras season ... and hopefully, will soon realize Mardi Gras is not one big spring break for dirty old men, but an enjoyable celebration for families and friends. Locals stay away from the crowded Quarter in the evenings after a parade -- but we wouldn't miss Mardi Gras for the world! Excerpted (with additions) from http://www.mardigrasneworleans.com/ 

---------- The above amateur photos were forwarded message in a group email message from:  atitlan on his [ymna] Yahoo group.----------

Coach's Office By Roy

  

Coach's Office By Roy 
(an original story that was formerly available on BadPuppy; photos were added separately by me)

The mid-afternoon sun was beating down on my back the duration of football practice, and I was in no mood for Coach Smith's continued yelling about my slacking off today. He finally crossed my last nerve and I told him I was doing the best I could. He stormed up to me and said that he was sure he could adjust my attitude. He ordered me to run 10 extra laps at the end of practice. By the time I finished the extra laps, the rest of the team had already left.

The locker room was empty. My shoes made a clicking sound on the tile floor as I crossed the locker room towards Coach Smith's office. I nervously knocked on the wooden door, the sound filled the locker room. From behind the door, I heard the power in Coach Smith's voice as he ordered me into his office. "It took you long enough to finish those laps", he barked. The anger in his voice caused me to fear this man for the first time. "I am sorry for the trouble I caused today, Sir", I meekly replied. " Oh, you will be sorry, young man", Coach Smith said in a low angry voice.

He slowly opened the top left drawer of his disk. He removed a large clear Plexiglass paddle. As he swung the paddle back and forth, the air whistled through the holes that had been drilled in the paddle. With each swing, I began to sweat. He then removed a well worn leather batter's glove, he slowly put his large hand in the glove, adjusting the fit until the leather was like a second skin on his large hand. He slowly walked around his desk and went to the door and turned the lock. The sound of the lock filled the empty locker room and filled me with a feeling of anticipation.

Coach Smith stood behind me and placed his massive hands on my shoulders, "It's time we started with your attitude adjustment, young man", he said. He ordered me to stand with my hands on his desk, "You must be kidding" I asked. "Either do as I say or you're off the team" he barked back. I slowly stood He jerked back the wooden chair that I had been sitting on. I bent over, placing my hands on the desk. Coach Smith rubbed the Plexiglas paddle over the center of my ass. I heard the air whistle as Coach Smith took the paddle back, the anticipation of the blow filled me with strange sensations; both of tread and excitement. Coach Smith lingered with the return blow, he seemed to sense my anticipation. He said nothing as his powerful arm brought the paddle down against my upturned ass. Even with my practice pants on , the blow sent a pain through my body, my knees almost buckled. I heard the whistle as the paddle as he readied for the second blow. My body tensed as the blow was delivered. With each blow the pain increased, and so did the strange sensation of excitement. Coach Smith delivered ten hard blows to my backside.

 As Coach Smith walked around his desk, I straightened and started to turn toward the door, " Where do you think you are going? We're not finished" he stated loudly. My heart almost stopped when Coach Smith ordered me to remove my practice pants. I started to refuse, but before I could, he informed me that the punishment would worsen the longer he had to wait. My hands trembled has I unlaced the front of my pants. I slowly removed my pants and placed them on the wooden chair. I stood before Coach Smith with just a jockstrap and a jersey on. Strangely my body began to tinkle with the anticipation of the pain that was surely to come. Coach Smith ordered me to return to my position over the desk. Coach Smith stepped behind me and slowly ran his hand over my burning backside. As his fingers touched my ass, I became strangely aroused. Coach Smith removed the wide leather belt from his pants, I heard a cracking sound as Coach Smith snapped the belt together. My body trembled and I started to feel a burning in my groin.

The first smack of the belt on my scarlet ass sent my body jerking forward. Coach Smith grabbed the back of my jersey and brought the belt down against my ass. With each of Coach Smith's powerful blows, the stinging pain of my ass brought my cock to stiffness. When Coach Smith finished, my swollen cock pressed against my jockstrap, Coach Smith jerked me upright. I hoped that he did not see my swollen cock. I noticed a strange grin on his face. "I see someone enjoyed our lesson. Maybe I need to continue" Coach Smith said through a grin. He pulled me towards the wooden chair and laid me over his knees. He positioned my swollen cock over his own manhood. He started to rub my burning ass. H then raised his gloved hand and brought it down on my waiting cheek. First the left cheek, then the right. With each slap of his hand, I felt his cock press against mine. He continued to rub my ass between each blow. After an additional 10 slaps on each cheek, his hands started to explore my scarlet and purple ass.

His fingers forced their way towards my asshole. This was the first time anyone had touched the inside of my ass. My body became aware of his probing fingers as he slowly pressed them into my hole. The pain of the spanking was soon replaced with the pleasure of Coach's probing fingers. "Breath deeply and relax", Coach Smith whispered in my ear, I took a deep breath as he pressed his fingers deeper into my body. I was soon aware that I enjoyed his probing and tried to open myself to him. I felt his hardened cock moving against mine. My body trembled. He removed his finger from deep inside my body. Sweat soaked my jersey. Coach Smith told me to stand. As I did so, I could see his cock pressing against his zipper. Coach Smith rose from the chair. His hand came up between my legs. He firmly squeezed my balls and cock. My body started to buckle, but Coach Smith held me tightly. "Ever had someone play with your cock before?" Coach Smith asked. "NO," I said through trembling lips, " Should I stop?" he asked.

Again I answered no. Coach Smith slowly raised my sweat soaked jersey, exposing my hairless chest to the cold air that filled the room. My nipples started to harden. Coach started to slowly lick my nipples. He removed my jersey and brought his mouth over my hard nipples, his teeth barely touching my tender nipples as his tongue rolled against the tips. My body started to tremble from this new sensation. I pressed his head harder against my heaving chest. He unbuckled his pants. The sound of his zipper couple with my increasing moans of pleasure filled the office. Coach then removed his shirt. I was overwhelmed by the site of his nearly naked body. His sweat glistened on his smooth muscled body, my trembling hand reached out to touch a man's chest for the first time. The touch of his bare chest, sent a feeling of total joy through my body. I looked into his icy blue eyes. I wanted this man. He pulled my head towards his, he pressed his lips against mine. I felt his tongue trying to part my lips. I willingly gave in. His tongue explored my mouth deeper then any girl's I had kissed before. My hands started to explore his chest, my fingers caressed his nipples. I wanted to taste the sweat on his chest. I kissed and licked the area around his nipples. My first taste of another man's sweat was more intoxicating then anything I had ever drank before.

Coach Smith pressed me against his desk, his hands slowly caressing my stomach. As he lowered his hands towards my swollen cock, my breathing started to become shallow. His hands played with the top of my jockstrap. He slowly pulled the sweaty straps way from my body. The chilled air touched my hard cock as the jockstrap dropped to the floor. Coach Smith's hands slowly made their way along my legs, his very touch sent electricity through my body. His hands stoped just inches away from my balls. I held my breath as his hand tenderly rolled over my balls. He caressed my cock. My knees buckled, Coach Smith caught me and layed me on his desk. His mouth slowly lowered over my cock. I felt the wetness of his mouth, his sharp teeth scraped the head of my cock as it entered his mouth. His lips pressed against my groin. The sensation of the suction of his mouth on my cock was like no other sensation I have felt before. I felt as though I would explode. Coach Smith continued to suck my cock and balls. His finger was again pressing against my waiting asshole. He stoped sucking my cock long enough to lick two of his fingers. He then returned his mouth to my cock and started to explore my ass with his finger. My asshole did not give way to his long finger. With gentle yet firm pressure, he inserted his finger into my hungry ass. Soon his single finger is replaced with both fingers. My moans intensify, I felt a sensation I have never felt before. Coach Smith sensed my pending explosion. He removed his mouth and fingers. He looked down at me and smiled. I watched as he removed his own jockstrap. I saw, for the first time, how large and hard his cock is. He started to stroke his cock, "It's time for you to lose your virginity" he said as he stroked his cock with force. He reached into his bottom drawer and took out a small tube of clear liquid and a condom.

  I stared at his cock as he slowly rolled the condom over the plump head of his cock. The condom covered his cock with a tight fit. "This will help," he said as opened the clear liquid and smeard it over his cock. He then smeared the cool liquid on my asshole, and with his finger, inserted some inside me. He pulled me closer to the edge of the desk, raising my legs high in the air. I felt the juicy head of his cock press against my asshole. He grabbed my hips and pulled them towards him as he pushed his hard cock against my ass. I felt a pain like no other as his head made its way up my asshole. I let out a small yell as he entered deeper in to my body. I was filled with a pressure as his body presses against my upturned ass. He stopped and told me to breath. I feel him begin to remove his cock. As the head of his cock began to leave my body, he

forced it deep inside my waiting hole. My body arched with the force of the pressure. He began to move back and forth like a piston. He pressed his body against mine. Our mouths met one another. I could feel his blood engorged cock as he fucked me, he started to fuck me harder and faster. He removed his cock from my body. His warm cum shot over my belly. He spread it gently over my stomach and then took my cock in his mouth, sucking harder than before. I soon felt the pressure of my cum rising in my cock. I pushed his mouth away from my cock right as it shot a load all over his cheek. I was afraid he would be angry. He wiped my cum from his cheek and kissed me gently on the mouth."I am going to need another attitude adjustment again real soon," I informed him. Coach smiled as he gave my wet ass a hard smack.

How does 'flashing' count as CMNM activity?

  

One aspect of the CMNM lifestyle (sexual preference) is just how and where such kinds of experiences actually occur.

There are three broad categories for how and where CMNM occurs --

1) planned situations where both parties involved, the clothed man (males) and naked ones are participating willingly and in predetermined locations (such as a bar, Pride event, male strip club, male lap-dancing, or private group sex parties. Some examples are nude nights at some gay bars, or stripping contests, or amateur strip nights, or hiring a nude escort or sex 'massage' escort (not to be confused with a real licensed masseur or massage therapist). Some are these 'planned' CMNM events are a part of a larger men's gathering or nude or sexual retreat - CMEN, Burning Man, or Street Festival (Southern Decadence in New Orleans or Dore Alley Fair in Cisco).

　　　　　2) pre-meditated, semi-random or semi-accidental one-way CMNM (this is a very gray 

area - so it's not clearly definable).. In these only ONE of the two manipulates (or at least it appears that one side is cognizant and the other side is ignorant (or innocent) of 'planning' or 'willingly' participant in sexually stimulating their counterpart. So the exact environment or conditions are very important but also very unique and specific to the situation (like good timing while visiting your Uncle's home, etc) so that one male can either be nude or be the clothed one who enjoys seeing the nude male in a place where nudity may or may not be expected. 

One essential determining factor is whether power/control and whether the sexual arousal is experienced by both (Clothed or Nude) participants and more definitely whether or not it is a voluntary act or coerced or forced on the other party (by force, persuasion or manipulation that physical or psychological or social or even some combinations of all three.

3) accidental or unintended CMNM experiences (like when someone opens a toilet stall door and exposes a naked (or masturbating/erect guy), or getting locked out (pushed out) of a hotel room by college buddies, etc... ). There are all kinds of variables that come into play and thehuge extremes in the level of conscious and unconscious sexual turns-on with all of these variations. the subtleties or the directness (blatantness) are different for every purpose and every person.

Certainly, one aspect of CMNM involves flashing.
　　　　

Flashing is a form of exhibitionism - from mild to wild to extreme - exposing one's body, specifically the genitals and/or buttocks (or breasts in women) to another person or group of people (who may or may not be clothed). Mild forms of it are 'accidental exposure' or peekaboo flashing -which are so very common among some social groups and situations -- so much so that it is absolutely NOT　even regarded as any form of 'sexual' behavior at all - especially in some circles or subcultures.

　　　　Peekaboo flashing often takes the form of nudity at college boy dorm and social events or frat parties, nudity at sporting events, rock concerts and public events where young and often drunk people gather to 'have fun'. But it also exists on a more personalized basis .. such as between college dorm roommates or when regular handymen or deliverymen come to a person's house (sometimes repeatedly) and some accidental exposure to (male) nudity occurs. There are legions of stories -- many probably urban legend -- about the voyeuristic adventures of pizza delivery boys, UPS truck drivers, and newspaper delivery boys - some of which they have documented (in blogs, Youtube, porno, etc) but more they themselves often are actually the targeted brunt of someelse's desire getting naked-for-the-pizza-guy prank. I have a strong feeling that many times such 'jokes' actually have latent homoerotic desires or sub-currents underlying the 'urge' to strip or to have someone stripped.

　　　　Why then would getting the guys naked or panstied or teabagged be the NUMBER ONE 

hazing or college party pranks for seemingly millions of boyish breeder-types (twinks and young college or NON-college men up to age 30 or so). Spend some time searching YouTube or similar sites (or more blatantly risque or explicit video-sharing sites) to get a better idea of what I am talking about. The following is a written interaction about how to flash a plumber. It was originally posted on DickFlash (a publically accessible discussion forum) on January 14, 2008. Within it, you can find some of the basic issues and nuances of what CMNM experiences are all about. One of the discussion participants on DickFlash posted this message and request on January 14:

"This guy came about two weeks ago to work on my sink in my kitchen. He had the plumber's crack thing going on, but in a good way...he has a nice ass. I know he's married with kids, but he was very talkative and friendly. I want to know how to "accidentally" flash him. I'm not sure the "I have to take a shower..." thing is going to work. I need something more subtle. The thing is, short shorts aren't really in fashion these days, or I would slip a pair on and let my balls "accidentally" fall out or spread my legs open, etc. Any suggestions?"

 

MY RESPONSE:

            I'm good at coming up with possible ways to flash but I don't 

often really put them into practice.... so take what I say with a huge grain of salt. By way of further 'excuse-making', let me explain -- I don't live alone (4 people together) and so can't arrange 'things' so easily for workmen or delivery men flashes. But here are some suggestions... and some advice.

 1. The baggy shorts (not just shorty shorts ) or mesh shorts might be one option - You can wear them or sit so that he can look up them (or see through them) and carry on your 'friendly' banter. If you just act like you don't know any about what he's seeing it would probably work.. but if you are like me.. it's the being seen that is the arousing part. 

If you have to completely IGNORE his act of seeing, it is ....well.. not like flashing at all. But it might work differently for you. Anyway, just think about it especially from his 'point-of-view' (so to speak), do you think he is going to engage you in a long, friendly conversation while you are 'blatantly' sitting there with your balls or cock or asshole in full view (or partial view). Most married men (unless they are closet gay voyeurs) will politely turn their eyes or simply back off or turn around .. even if they make a joking comment about it or are not embarrassed by it.. it will make them slightly uncomfortable. Then he'll be more wary or even resentful...for having been 'friendly' was NOT his intention - he's probably NOT just chatting you up .. but he's passing the time amiably because it's not a very fun job -- except for those times he gets to actually talk to his customers.

 If he is THAT comfortable with seeing a nude male and chatting, then you could probably try something much more direct. You've met him before so to start out with something 'new' at this point may not work either, but at least you'll have some ideas for the 'next' time (another handyman or deliveryman). 

For example, explain that you are a nudist (or you can use some wording or terminology to disguise this and then 'explain' what that means... such as a naturologist or FKK scientologist (hey.. like a nude Tom Cruise fan club member) or that you are practicing nude yoga or nake self-massage, essential oil therapy or some such ruse... as a spiritual discipline and this is your morning (afternoon) to engage in your regular session. 

If he doesn't baulk, then ask him if you can be nude in front of him now because you always make it a practice in at the time and you need to meditate in the nude. He'll probably believe you unless he's also Asian - the typical WASP North American doesn't know anything about any religion or religious discipline other than their own (rather narrow) Protestant or Catholic dogma (and many barely even know much about those - although they pretend to be 'Christians'. For white Americans (of a 

certain age) it would be so non-PC (i. e. politically incorrect) to doubt you or to call your 'nude' religious practice into question because to appear to ridicule it or doubt would be tantamount to prejudice or discrimination - most people will not say anything. 

In fact, if he's really 'interested', he just might show so much interest and encourage you to take off you clothes or ask you to explain it or show him how you do it... then you'll have to be able to bull-shit your way through an actual sample session. 

What is important is that you need to believe in what you are doing. You have to really have a plan and a clear purpose in your strategy. Actually believing in something helps you actually come up with some ideas (on your own) that will work FOR YOU (to actualize it)..... When you don't believe in something you want to do (and why you want to do), it becomes all too self-evident to others and to yourself that what you are doing is just a ruse or fake. 

People are masters as self-delusion - but they can smell out fear or a fake a mile off (not that they always mind or even complain). We (here on DF) can make suggestions that are excellent or extensive (or until we are blue in the face)...but YOU are the one who actually has to make them work or not. It helps enormously if you really believe it too. Think also about why you want to flash this guy... is it the naughtiness that stimulates you? or the sense of having sexual power over someone (esp a stranger? or do you think you might have a chance to get laid or have sex or are you looking for a romantic/sexual fling? Flasher, know thyself.

 

2. The 'shower' thing is about the only plausible other reason (rationale) that you could have for 'accidently' exposure 'beside the flimsy clothes or the nude meditation.. I know you love showing your butthole, Rimluvr -- we've seen that sweet and delicous little bronzed pucker here on DF more than one occasion. 

Scenario A.... Leave your cellphone in the kitchen or bathroom or whenever he is going to be doing his plumbing stuff.. and be sure to have set the alarm on your phone to make it ring while he is in there. You could set multiple alarms to 'simulate' getting a call first from some and talking just minute to tell them you are getting in the shower, and and then have a second alarm set 10 minutes later - perfectly timed so that you have to come bounding out of the shower or whenever you are -- practicing nude yoga, etc in the room. You may need to leave the phone where he can' t see/reach it.... among your dirty clothes or in a pile of fresh laundered stuff... etc.

When you then come running into the room (or even jump out of the 

shower or laundry room or where) so try to 'get that important call'... either you'll be nude (and dripping) or clutching a towel.. or you will 'loose' the towel then your 'clumsy' hands try to get the phone open and up... He won't be able to ignore a phone ringing (if you've got the right phone it will sound just like a real ringtone and will continue to ring 4-5 times -- just begging to get his attention too .. 

Therefore, he'll have backed out from under the sink or wherever just in time to see your towel drop and your exposed jewels or rose-bud come into full view... it would be even best if you have the phone strategically placed to that he can't avoid staring up into your crotch or buttocks.

You could also pull of that phone trick by using your cell phone to call your landline (extension in 

the kitchen or getting some to do so).. No.. I'm not volunteering. But you could even get your mother or a friend to call you at exactly a certain time (say.. to wake you up or to help mind you to bring in the recycling bin (or whatever).

3. Combine all or some of the above suggestions... Answer the door in mesh clothes, explain about your 'nude yoga' or naked scientology mediation session, then have the phone (alarm) set to interrupt you. You have to sound convincing so you have believe it. It's easier to believe when it is not a lie - so start practicing Buddhist nude oil massage and Naked Zen meditation today. 

Hope you enjoy my suggestions and advice... Kelly (sunbuns). 

P.S. I have lived too many years in Asia and now I spend so much time in Hawaii -- where East and West mix so well ... so I guess I have been indoctrinated - one way or another.

The spirit is willing but the flash is week day and weekend!

Submitted by sunbuns (as hardtwoholed)