Roommate CMNM - How to get it started

[This topic was first brought up on a forum by someone who also posted the same question,)

Is there any way to go about setting up a CMNM (or, for that matter, just plain

NM) scenario with guys you know--without freaking them out? I know a guy or two I might like to have such a scenario with (maybe with some touching or contact but not necessarily any sex), but I don't know how to actually go about approaching the issue in such a way that I don't inadvertently transgress any of their personal boundaries and/or make them uncomfortable.
Like, my roommate, for example. I'd like to be naked around him or with him, but I can't very well say "Hey, dude, can we hang out naked sometime?" That might really weird him out. But, if there were the potential for him to be open to it, it would be something I'd want to do. But, I don't know how to approach the issue at all. I don't how to approach it in a way that I could find out if he'd be open to it without simultaneously risking offending him or making him uncomfortable. Any thoughts?

It's partly going to be 'hard' (lol) for you to pull off (no pun) this scenario if you are not willing to be naked yourself. What I'm saying is -- if you have already been living with roommates and you've not had even any chance for them to see you naked (except just an accidental glimpse) then it probably means that 'nudity' is not (yet) a acceptable part of your 'household' lifestyle or relationship. In order for it to 'happen', you probably need something pretty radical or unusual to cause a change in the status quo. Examples might be: a new roommate (adding another) or exchanging one, or your moving out and finding different roommates- -more accepting or adventurous ones. If that's not an option or you do have an inkling he might be 'ready' and then you shouldn't give up. You can bring 'egg' him along by subtlely and sometimes more drastically forcing the issue and get your naked body seen and maybe his along with it.

By the way, nUdity / cLOthed situations don't have to happen with ONLY people you know -- there are many other kinds of situations so instead of beating a dead horse (lol).. perhaps you need to take up another tactic or seek a new kind of CNMN activity with a set of guys who are more amenable. However, there is a special nature to being naked/clothed with someone who you know, like and can get along with - after all that's one definition of a friend. I realize too that for some people, they 'need' that special bonding with someone, and the CMNM experience may not have much meaning or much excitement if the person is a total stranger. Yet, some guys can only be excited if the person is an unknown stranger. Even luckier when you get to have both. Nonetheless, you've got your objective in mind ... so how do you go about getting to that place where you're both comfortable or at least accepting (i.e. not outraged or embarrassed) by one of you being naked in front of the other?

Tactics for setting the right environment for CMNM and for setting up the sitution with a roommate:

If you going to be living with this roommate a while, there are some ways I can suggest that you can try to set-up CMNM. More than likely you'll just be to getting him and - more likely - yourself) to being nude at certain times when you're together at home. These initial times should be when you are both at ease and relaxed, and then these opportunities can later start get more frequent and perhaps more daring.

Try to come up with natural, unforced occasions when you can get naked in his presence or at least allow him to see you nude. Changing for bed or getting into the shower. In some case, there may be things you can do outside of the apartment/house where nudity would be expected - such as changing at the pool or in a locker room - so that you've seen in other naked where it is expected and inconsequential.

For things to move beyond just such occasional glimpes, you may have to 'set up' some of these

situations -- if it's something that's not been any part of your style of living.
- Such a 'set-up' might be forgetting something like a towel or wash cloth when you're in the shower, or running out of soap or shampoo and having to come out to get some (or one that you just bought but 'forget' to bring with you.
- Use your cellphone to ring (set up the alarm to ring) while you're in the tube and you rush out of the bathroom naked "not knowing he was there" story to grab your phone.


Let him catch you naked a few times innocently.
If you are now walking through the house/apartment nude, then it might seem strange to just start doing so.
So you first have to get him used to seeing you in various states of undress.
Start by coming out with no shirt or lounging around only in your boxes or athletic shorts. Later try to set up more 'naked' situations where he catches you naturally for longer than just a quick glimpse and with more visible exposure of your body and genitals. Be sure to intersperse brief innocent exposures with the longer ones - you don't want to raise anxiety by him beginning to think you are targeting him. Also, it would work best if he's also the naked one at times.
This might be his knocking on your bedroom door (to get something you borrowed or that you share - cordless phone, vacuum cleaner, etc) and then him seeing you naked when you casually answer (call him in ) or even open the door. If you have separate bedrooms and you're nude doing something like trying to untie some knotted shoelaces (and you may have the stereo/TV on) or headphones on (so you can't him knock), it appears totally nature and casual for you both.

Talking about sexuality and the male body

It may be helpful - not only for your friendship with your roommates - but also as a way to get everyone in the the living environment used to commenting on (or even discussions) of the human body (male and female), being male, and acknowledgement of sexual urges and needs. You don't have to describe in exquisite details your own sexual exploits all at once, but at least , you should be able to talk about the basic nature of human sexual needs. The topic surely comes up - -if not from you, then through the media.

References to sexual things often come up in movies and TV sitcoms, even news events, and from other friends, so you or your roommate can offer your own comments, opinions or experiences. "Boy, do I know what he's talking about there." It helps to make the other person feel comfortable knowing that you're willing to express yourself on sexual topics.
This assumes that you're already watching TV or videos together. If you're not even spending that much time together or conversing, it's not going to be so easy to share a nude/clothed lifestyle together.

Other ideas:

1) Start freeballing - that way you'll already be half naked. Your roommate will get used to seeing your cock, balls and butt if you undress where he can see.
2) If he's too uptight, he'll keep looking away or even ask you to dress in your own room. They will give you clues about how to proceed.


3) If this avoidance behavior persists, especially if he mentions it or draws some attention to it (like leaving the room), you could confront him about his being too uptight or too restrictive on your own personal freedom. 4) If he jokes about it, then you could also joke back with him.. 'Try it out, you might like it'. Just be upfront (and clever).. " seeing me naked doesn't bother you, does it?" How would he answer that but say 'No, not at all."
5) Start a new activity that involves him and you -- and the possibility of nudity - swimming for fitness, gym, fitness club, yoga, weekend sports, jogging, weekend trips or day time outing to the lake, beach, etc.
6) Always sleep in the nude so it won't be strange for you to be naked in and around your bedroom, also when you and he get to do some overnight trips or camping, etc.

7) Get a friend (or a bunch of them) who are nudists (or who like being naked or doing naked stuff) and whom you visit or go out with - taking your roommate along. These friends can invite you and your roomie to get naked. Whether he's gay or straight or maybe better when he's with a woman around, the 'pressure' of your friend's request might help him to break down the barriers so he'll actually get nude too. At least, you can accept your nudist friend's invitation - so you'll be naked in front of your roomie.
8) Have a party! Alcohol seems to be a great excuse for getting rid of clothes and inhibitions. Costume or themes parties can make it easier since invitees are already out of their regular attire anyway. Or plan special party games that require the removal of clothes - sometimes a necessity if things get wet.

9) Dare and double-dares will some work -- especially if the other person just needs a good challenge (or a safe excuse) for getting naked.

Below are some additional suggestions offered by others.

 on Sun Nov 23, 2008 7:25 am

Well, with a roommate situation, it can be pretty easy. Just walk from the shower to your room naked. Or, even though you know your roommate is coming home, pretend you didn't and while your naked say something like, "oh sorry, was doing laundry and didn't know you were coming home." Then gauge his reaction. But with others you know, it might be harder to set up an "innocent" situation. If you're looking to arrange something with strangers, craigslist.org is a good place to post.  ----------

 on Mon Dec 01, 2008 7:38 pm

Here's one approach I've used with a new roommate. First, tell them I like to sleep naked. Second, go to the fridge for a drink (or something else you take at bedtime). Go to the fridge naked while he's watching TV or doing some other passive activity--and say something along the way to him, like "Is that movie worth seeing?". After that you'll have some more opportunities to be naked in various situations and (in my experience) he'll eventually follow suit. Whether it leads to sex is more a matter of agreement between the two of you, though a compliment on his "equipment" might foster some action. by Grubernowski

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Please add your own ideas / suggestions as a comment.

Spanking - a form of CMNM fun that combines many sexual attractions we seek

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Semi-flashing: showing dick to a guy I pass every morning

I know .. I know.. it's not much -- [I'm not referring to my dick] but my small accomplishment. I am probably not a full-fledged flasher / exhibitionist  -- at least not yet. So those men who have jerked off for and  flashed strangers on the street have my admiration, but I cannot yet imitate. Although I have been experimenting with showing some cock using see-thru clothes and open zippers, I've never been able to expose a full limp or erect cock.

 


I don't really count 'innocent exposure" in the locker room, or a the beach (nude or not) to be hard-core

exhibitionist. I mean - -if nudity is expected and even accepted, it could not really be true exhibitionism.
However, yesterday was a bit different for me and a first for me.

After months of walking the dog in the early morning with a partly open zipper (or in warmer weather in see-thru shorts/pants), I have had my eyes -- targeting my flash.. so to speak..- for a guy who rides his bicycle on his way to work every morning on my dog-walk route through the cemetery nearby.
Over a couple of times in the past months, I've 'surprised' him over a couple of times with me showing in some mesh shorts, then almost see-thru athletic pants, but yesterday, I had my zipper down enough to evidently attract his gaze.
I've seen him take a glance quite a few times, but he's very good at appearing to (or actually) ignoring me.
Yesterday, it seemed to me that I caught his gaze looking directly at my crotch.. I knew my efforts had finally succeeded. 

I had seen him coming and happily this time.. he was completely alone and just crossing busy street right in the center of the cemetery -- so he was distracted enough to not be ready when I approached with the dog.
I like taking my dog along -- not only because the dog needs and enjoys it, but it gives the 'voyeur' victim something to pretend to look at. They can short of glance ahead and down -- -pretending to look a the dog -- but all the while inspecting my crotch. So that is what I think happened yesterday morning. 

I could see him at least 150 ft before he reached me--so I had time to adjust my crotch for optimal (NOT maximum) exposure. I don't want him to take a new route or to call the police or get totally screwed up..
It would only appear to him that I had forgotten to properly shut zip my pants up -- it was NOT a blatant floppy or erect cock staring him in the face. Instead it was an rather innocent and seemingly accidental exposure of part of my flaccid penis.
But -- maybe we'll get there if he keeps showing some interest (or at least a distant fascination).  

The guy intrigues me because he wears exactly the same clothes every single day I have every seen him. 

It  means that this is his 'uniform' or that he probably just wears them for such a short trip -- to bicycle to his work -- where he changes to his real work clothes -- a uniform. I imagine that he works at the local small airport, but I'm not quite the stalker that will follow him -- although I guess my targeting him so many times until I finally found a time to get more real exposure -- is something close to stalking. I am trying to entice him to look at my cock,  but not shock or disgust him.

Has anybody been involved with semi-flashing like this? Maybe this is just one stage along toward something more daring and more exhibitionistic?

The photo shows what the pants should have looked like to my semi-flash target.


I was beginning to think I was the only person at this level of flashing -- not quite a newbie but not

completely hanging out with a full hard-on for complete strangers. I guess for me -- it's the other guy's squelched feelings of attraction that really intrigue me. It turns me on to think that I am turning him on to his inner wishes - but again I could be totally wrong about my targeted guy. In your case, brettmarried (another user here), you seem to know positively that he is not only noticed but seemed to have a very strong interest in what he was seeing. For my guy, I can't really be sure.. he's rarely even turned his head back (actually there have only been a few times I've managed to "tease" him.

 

Maybe the challenge of it is kind of fun too.
I have also tried semi-see-through or mesh pants and shorts and have had a quick glance up and down reaction from him. But the incidents are spaced out weeks or even months apart.

 

Many times the private roadway through the park-like cemetery that he uses (and where I walk my dog) has other people riding and/or walking by. Also this IS a neighborhood where people would and could find me if I were to flash strangers.

I can't try the "oops, I forgot to zip up" tactic too often or he'll get wise.
I've thought next of taking a piss just off the main lane partly behind some trees and to carefully time it so that he has the chance to come up on his bike and sort of catch me with my cock out and pissing -- with a full view of my cock. Doing it that way still boarders on 'accidental' flashing.  

Hey, are there any more guys here who are semi-flashing like this? I realize some of you guys are much braver and far beyond this sort of level of flashing. But there may be more like me and brett.. any similar experiences?